


Judgement Buds

by DontKillBugs



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Relationships, Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21820246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontKillBugs/pseuds/DontKillBugs
Summary: Jasper and an unlikely partner bond over their shared disdain for general humanity.Crack Pairing ahoy. Based on a drabble prompt.UPDATE: Now has a Russian translation, courtesy of the amazing goldy-gry!https://ficbook.net/readfic/8889265
Relationships: Jasper & Kevin (Steven Universe), Jasper/Kevin (Steven Universe)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	Judgement Buds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohthewhomanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohthewhomanity/gifts).



> This was written in 20 minutes on my phone during my lunch break. This spring from a drabble prompt on Tumblr by ohthewhomanity. So blame them for this one!
> 
> Prompt 3. "I've been waiting to get to know you since the moment I first saw you."

Jasper scowled as she glared down the boardwalk, the citizens of Beach City and Little Homeworld going about their business. “Look at them. They just… run around. They have no idea that I could crush them in half a second. Weak. Pathetic. Ugly.”

From her left, in the driver’s seat, Kevin nodded with a scoff. “You and me, baby? We’re titans walking among insects.”

Jasper sighed, leaning back in her seat, which had been pushed as far back as it could to accomodate her enormous frame. She took a long drag through the straw of the XXX-Large cup of Boba her new Earthling partner had bought her. “Y'know, once you get past the slimy bits tryin’ to sneak into your mouth, this isn’t half bad.”

Kevin smirked. “Its good stuff, ain’t it?”

Jasper grinned. “You ain’t half bad for an Earthling, Kev-An. Anyone who hates that Universe twerp is fine by me.”

Kevin leaned close, looking uncharacteristically shaky. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I saw you when you first arrived here, a few years back. In that giant hand-ship thing?”

Jasper rolled her eyes. “For all the good it did me. Homeworld’s engineering has really gone downhill since Era 2.”

“I don’t know what that means, but my point is: I saw you. I was parked over on that cliff over there,” he pointed across the bay. “I saw you, positively resplendant in that cape of yours, and I knew. I just had to know you. I’ve been waiting to get to know you since the moment I saw you.”

Jasper shoved Kevin’s head back, barely hiding the grin on her face. “Don’t make it weird. You’re still a weak Earthling. Just… less so.”

Kevin winked, snapping his fingers into a smooth point. “Flirt.”

Not meeting his eyes, Jasper pulled him into an awkward, one-armed hug.

His face pressed into Jasper’s bicep, Kevin mumbled “C'mon. Let’s go to Funland and spit on people off the ferris wheel.”

Jasper laughed boisterously. “You read my mind.”

Kevin threw his car (now forcibly turned into a convertible by Jasper’s mighty hands removing the roof) into gear, and sped off with a loud screech down the boardwalk, Jasper’s long hair blowing in the breeze.

Behind them, about twelve feet from where the car had sat, Amethyst whistled. “Dang. Didn’t know Trust Fund Tommy had it in ‘em.”

Connie shrugged. “They’re both super judgemental and both probably serial killers. I say they deserve each other.”

Steven, for his part, had sealed himself three bubbles deep, where he was stomping in a circle, glowing bright pink. Through the bubble layers, if one strained, they might hear the muffled sound of Steven doing an excellent impression of a Wailing Stone, interspersed with frequent words that Pearl and Greg had very patiently taught him not to say.


End file.
